How to Make Friends in a New City

1. Why making friends after a move feels hard

At school or college, friendships happen almost by accident: you see the same people every day, you share a timetable and nobody needs a reason to say hello. After a move, that structure disappears. Colleagues go home to their own lives, flatmates keep different hours and everyone seems to already have a group.

None of this means something is wrong with you. It means you need to rebuild the structure that used to do the work for you.

2. Build routines where the same people show up

Friendships grow from repeated, low-stakes contact. Pick two or three places you can visit on a regular schedule and become a familiar face:

• the same gym slot, running group or yoga class each week
• a café, library or co-working space you use on fixed days
• a weekend market, community garden or place of worship if that suits you
• a sports court or badminton group that plays at a set time

After a few visits, a nod turns into a “you again!”, and that is often the opening you need.

3. Let your interests do the introductions

Shared interests give you something to talk about before you know each other. Look for groups where the activity is the point and conversation happens naturally:

• book clubs, quiz nights, open mics and board-game cafés
• trekking, cycling or photography walks
• volunteering with a local NGO or animal shelter
• alumni associations, college societies and workplace clubs
• classes such as dance, pottery, a language or cooking

Choose one or two and go more than once. The second and third visits are where people start to remember your name.

4. Make the first move easy

You don’t need a clever line. A specific, friendly question works better than a general “hi”:

• “How long have you been coming here? I just moved and I’m still figuring out the city.”
• “Any food places nearby you’d actually recommend?”
• “That was a fun session. Are you coming next week?”

If a conversation goes well, suggest a small next step: a chai after class, a walk, or joining the same event again. Our conversation starters have more ideas.

5. Where online chat fits

Online conversation can take the edge off meeting people, especially if you’re shy or new. Talking one-to-one first lets you find out whether you actually click before you plan anything in person.

BeAnon is being built for exactly this kind of low-pressure start. In the planned app you pick a few interests, chat one-to-one without a public profile or real name, and become friends only when you both choose to. You can read more in how BeAnon works.

6. Moving from chat to meeting, safely

If you decide to meet someone you first spoke to online:

• meet in a busy public place and plan your own transport
• tell a friend or family member where you’re going and when
• keep your home address, workplace details and financial information private at first
• leave if anything feels off. You never owe anyone more time

Our guide to chatting with strangers safely covers warning signs and how to leave a conversation.

7. Give friendships time

Close friendships take many hours of time together. One widely cited study by Jeffrey Hall estimated that moving from acquaintance to casual friend takes around 50 hours, and becoming close friends takes over 200 (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2019). Slow progress is normal. Keep showing up.

FAQ

How long does it take to make friends in a new city?

It varies, but most people need a few months of regular contact before an acquaintance feels like a friend. Repeated meetings matter more than any single conversation.

Is it okay to use apps to make friends?

Yes. Apps can help you find people with similar interests and warm up through conversation. Choose ones with clear safety controls and age rules, and meet in public the first few times.

What if I’m shy?

Start with activity-based groups, where you have something to do together, and with one-to-one chats, which feel less intense than groups. See our guide on making friends online as an introvert.